KIKUYU DOWRY PROCEDURES
Introduction
The Kikuyu are found in Kenya and
live mainly around Mt. Kenya in the Central Province. They believe to be
the descendants of Gikuyu (father) and Mumbi (Mother) whose origin was in
Mukurwe wa Nyagathanga (meaning a certain tree-mukurwe, with a certain species
of birds-nyagathanga). This is a place in Murang’a Central Kenya. The Kikuyu
believe in one deity (Ngai mwene hinya) who they believe lived in the highest
peak of Mt. Kirinyaga (today’s Mt. Kenya). They are traditionally farmers and
good livestock keepers. Their products from the farm and animals were key in
trade. Infact, dowry payment was counted in form of goats, sheep and cattle.
The man with many daughters considered himself wealthy since each daughter’s
dowry would propel him to a higher level in the society.
Today, dowry payment precedes a
wedding in Kikuyu. The dowry payment is in a series of events namely “Kumenya mucii”
(getting to know the bride’s home), “Kuhanda ithigi” (literally means planting
a branch of a tree), followed by “Kuracia” (actual dowry payment) ..This last
process lasts a lifetime. Itara (getting to see the nest or nesting place of
their daughter) which is a visit to the Groom’s homestead is next and finally Kuguraria
(aka gutinia kiande) the traditional kikuyu wedding of antiquity.
Letting
the word out
A man first proposes to a lady and
after she agrees to be married, a series of events follow.
The groom approaches his
parents/guardians and informs them of his intention of marrying. The parents
then enquire about the lady’s background, e.g. clan from which she comes from,
her community etc. This is to ensure that there is no cross marriage between
family members. Once they are satisfied with the information, the groom’s
father/guardian informs the extended family and clan who then go ahead to
convene a special committee of reputable village elders “athuri’. Their task is
to organize and facilitate the dowry payment process and also the wedding. From
this committee the groom’s father/guardian chooses a spokesman for the dowry
and marriage negotiations. The spokesman must be self-controlled, wise and be
able to rise to the occasion. This is a key post.
NB: The groom must have passed
through the initiation stage (circumcision) and belong to a ‘rika’ or age group
otherwise complications in negotiations could be introduced.
The bride also approaches her
parents/guardian and informs them of her intention to get married. The
parents/guardians then enquire about the groom’s family, clan and community.
They then inform the extended family members, clan and community at large. Like
the groom’s side, they also form a committee to facilitate the dowry payment
process and also the wedding. The bride’s father and uncles have the sole
responsibility to decide who joins this committee.
Who makes
a reputable village elder.
There are certain qualifications
that elders must meet in order to qualify to be in the committee of elders.
- The Committee elder should be of the same age group as the bride/groom’s father.
- He should have married and have children with a good reputation and standing in the community.
- Be a member of the ‘kiama’ of the community. This is achieved by presenting ‘mburi’ (goats) for the leaders and other members ‘mburi ya kiama’.
THE PROCESS
When the man wants to marry the
woman, he first proposes to the woman. If she agrees, he then sets a
meeting with elders of his tribe. Elders are usually members of the
extended family who are in their 60's and above. He then sends this
delegation to the girl’s family. Before they go, they send word that they
want to visit on a certain date. Usually, this is done between 1-3
months. The entourage is usually a group of 8-15 members.
When the elders go to the girl's home, they are met by the girl's family, who
also have by this time called their group of elders. They usually bring
small gifts of dry foods, for example rice, wheat, sugar, tea, cooking
oil, etc. This is a common practice when one visits any family, and so
this is not part of the dowry. After the food and the warm welcome, the
elders of the man say something like this. We have an interest in one of
your "sheep" or we have noticed one of your sheep, and we would
like to bring her to our homestead. Likewise, if a girl elopes, the
elders go to the boy's home and say something like this. "We have
lost one of our sheep, and we heard that it was seen here….
The negotiations are not done
that day, so the elders then say that they just wanted to come and visit
and they will be back. After a time is set, usually in a few weeks, the
elders return. The negotiations then start. The talking is
done only by the elders. It is taboo for the young man to speak, and in
doing so, he could seriously jeopardize the negotiations. The rule of thumb in
negotiating the dowry used to be whatever the father of the bride paid
for his mother that is what he would request for a bride price. Things
have changed much since then. The bride price now is determined by
several factors.
· How much education the girl
has received
· If she has a career
· Social Class
FIRST VISIT-
‘Kumenya mucii’ (Getting to know the bride’s home)
Once both sides are organized and
ready, the groom’s side first take a gift of two fattened rams ‘Ndurume’ to the
bride’s home as an indication that the bride is about to get married. The
number can vary depending on culture. Later on, the groom’s side communicate
their intention to visit the bride’s home. This is communicated by the groom to
the bride.
The groom’s side cater for all
expenses arising from the food and drinks to be consumed on that particular
day. They come with gifts in form of cash and also in kind and give to the
bride’s family. After eating, the two families get to know each other. The
bride then informs the group about the nature of the visit – to get married.
The groom likewise states his intentions of marrying the said bride. After this
both sides agree on the next stage of dowry payment which is ‘kuhanda ithigi’.
DOWRY PAYMENT ‘KURACIA’
On the day of dowry payment, the
groom’s side visit the bride’s home. After eating, they settle down to
business. First, they go through the process known as ‘kuunirwo miti’, that is,
what they are supposed to bring as dowry payment for the bride. A bride’s dowry
is determined by the amount of dowry that her father paid for her mother. The
groom then starts by ‘kuhanda ithigi’ which literally means planting a branch
of a tree which symbolizes that the lady has been booked officially by the
groom.
After this, the groom goes ahead to
start the dowry payment process. Since dowry payment lasts a lifetime, he is
thus required to pay a certain amount before being allowed to marry the bride.
The rest of the dowry is paid after the two have married. The dowry payment is
also determined by the state of the bride. If she is a virgin, then the above
applies. If she is pregnant, the process is hurried so that the child can be
born in a stable home/family.
Dowry or bride price constitutes the
following:
Athuri (items for men)
- Goima (fattened ram)
- Thenge (he goat)
- Ng’ondu (sheep)
- Kaburi
- Blankets
- Mori (heifer)
- Mburi cia mirongo (goats – these are counted in tens)
- Njohi ya uuki (beer made from honey)
- Maaha-indo cia muthuri(assorted items for bride’s father)
- Itangi ria mai (water tank)
Atumia (Items for women)
- Nyungu (pot)
- Ciihuri (calabashes)
- Ithanwa (axe)
- Mukwa (new rope)
- Nguo cia atumia (women wear)
- Lesos
- Njohi ya atumia (beer for women-now sodas)
- Ushuru wa mukio (fermented porridge)
The quantity for each of the items
varies with the clans and communities and also regions.
When all of the dowry has been paid,
the bride cannot return to her home under any circumstances. (Traditionally
speaking. It has nowadays been amended to the Wedding day due to Christian
values & customs). This is called ‘ngurario’ or ‘gutinia kiande’(cutting of
one of the front limbs of a fattened ram). Here the husband cuts of one of the
front limbs of a fattened ram (gutinia kiande) that has already been roasted
and gives it to his wife as a sign that she now belongs to him completely. This
part contains only one joint and it signifies the permanence of the union
between the husband and wife. It is considered as a seal over the wife. Both of
them now cannot be separated except through death of one partner. It is also
very tender and signifies the love and tenderness that both husband and wife
have for each other. In addition, the ‘kiande’ represents the importance of the
human hand which does all the work as compared to any other part of the body e.g.
cooking, fetching water, washing etc. After this event the wife now becomes
like a son to her marital home.
During this ceremony, there are
other parts of the roasted fattened ram that are given to all who attend the
ceremony. The following parts are given to women:
- Ngerima(true stomach)
- Mara (small intestines)
- Honge (pelvic bone)
- Mbaru/ikengeto (ribs)
- Matu (ears) (given to single women so that they can understand instruction)
- Higo (Kidneys)
Young
men today are having a hard time because
there are no rules and some people have become very greedy. The dowry is
still negotiated in terms of cows, goats, and honey. Once the price has
been determined, it is now converted into cash. The elders leave a major down
payment and a day is then set for the wedding. Dowry negotiations are
usually done over several weeks or months. The balance can take years to
pay. Usually the family never asks for the balance. If the man
doesn't finish paying the balance then he begets a daughter, she cannot be
married unless he finishes paying the balance. (This is very
embarrassing, and most people avoid this) If they never have
children, then the man's family is left with a "stain" that they
never honor their word and this becomes common knowledge. For
this reasons, the bride price "loan" is always paid up.
When the bride price is finally paid up, there is a ceremony done. This
in the olden days signified a marriage. The family of the bride usually
kill a goat and they give the front legs to the husband. This signified
that he was now the husband of the woman and that he and not her father bears
the full responsibility for her. This practice is still done even today.
The Marriage Ceremony
The
whole community usually gets involved. The women team up and organize the
menu, and they contribute the food. The young men and women team up and
raise funds for the wedding. This is done through a "pre wedding
party". The young men arrange for transportation and refreshments. The
girl’s family is usually responsible for the bride's dress, and the younger
children who will be in the wedding party. The bride chooses her bride's
maids and she usually chooses from both sides (families) and includes her
friends. Kikuyu weddings are usually huge. It is not uncommon to
find the bridal party of 20+.
Eve of the wedding:
In
the days before the wedding, the young man brings women from his village to
visit his future in laws for the drinks ceremony ‘kurehe soda’ or formerly
‘kurehe ucuru’. They usually come not just to visit, but to help with the
wedding items. They bring with them drinks – soda, sour millet porridge ‘ucuru
wa ugimbi’ etc. to support the bride’s family who will be ‘cooking all night’ for
the ceremony the night before the wedding.
This
is really a way for the women folk to socialize with each other and build some
ties. It is not uncommon for a few men to attend from the Man’s side to render
any assistance and escort the ladies. As they get close to the house,
they all start hooting their cars and they don’t stop until they are allowed in
the bride's homestead. When the hooting starts, the village women
from the bride rush to the gate and block it. The negotiations for
entrance then begin. This time, it is done in form of music and
song. The women sing that they "didn't hear" the ‘strangers’
come and why do they want to "steal" their daughter away? They
are requested to go back and return in the right way. The groom’s team may
have to drive back (about 1/2 mile) and then return. The women then ask for
blankets, sugar, tea, soda pop and other small items. The idea
behind is: Our "daughter" used to cook & make tea for
us - we don’t know who can replace her. All this is done through song and
dance, and the young man (this is his mother’s domain) usually brings a woman
who would be the main negotiators in the song saga. This can go
on for about an hour. The young man’s team is then let in . The
items that are requested are then shared out among the villagers. The
women then join in the festivities and the ‘all night cooking’
In
modern times, there is no longer the ‘all night’ cooking parties since most
weddings are catered by professional cooks. This ceremony however is still
observed in the days preceding the wedding.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this. Very informative especially on the Ruracio proceedings. Have been looking for something this in-depth :)
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted to know this process but haven't gotten anyone to explain it this well in a language I'm comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteitems for men, ruhiu rwa njora na njohi ya athuri no ciaho?
ReplyDeletekana ya uki noyo ya athuri?
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this information.It's quite useful
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this information.It's quite useful
ReplyDeletevery informative. thegio muno
ReplyDeleteHighly informative and greatly appreciated
ReplyDeletewow thanks so much.this will get me a long way.
ReplyDeletehiyo part ya kuelope though its different from what i know happens. in my community, the guy's family goes to the girl's family to say that they have the 'lost sheep'
ReplyDeleteThat's the information that most young men need to know, very informative and straight to the point
ReplyDeleteWhat happens if a last born daughter pays dowry before the elder ones??
ReplyDeleteInformative thanks
ReplyDeleteGreat piece. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteVery informative.
Good information.
ReplyDeleteAddition: the groom side used to select the father, father's representative,another elder of the age set of the father,then the mother, mother's representative and another woman of the age set of the mother. They were actually less than 10. The other side of the bride the same. It was obligation of the bride parents to feed the congregation.
During the wedding( gutinia kiande) the clan of the bride & groom were supposed to feed the congregations not the groom.
Mwati na harika ( kuhanda ithigi) should be physical animals not cash.
Stand to be collection.
planning a ruracio
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the Clipkulture, Clipkulture is home to all things ethnic and traditional that provides the best guidance for traditional wedding decor, tsonga traditional skirts, winnie mashaba traditional attire, white and gold agbada, and planning a ruracio.
to get more - https://clipkulture.com/home/
Exactly what signifies kuhanda ithigi?
ReplyDeleteI think the kuhanda ithigi thing is a misled information..as the kikuyu proverb saying goes "uthoni utogoragio ni mwati na harika", meaning that the dowry process is initiated by mwati na harika which are rams signifying gentleness and childbearing respectively. when these two rams would grow and become healthy, it showed a good sign on the success on what they symbolized. In kikuyu ruracio culture, there was nothing like "kuhanda ithigi." you can reference this from the book facing mount Kenya by Jomo Kenyatta on the dowry aspect of the kikuyu.
ReplyDelete